!

Hi. Today I would like to tell you about something that strongly influence our quality of life - your image of yourself and the world. There is nothing more important, because nothing is objective. Everything you perceive, you perceive by some context. World happens in your mind. And because of your mind, imagination and perception you can be happy or not, and is there more cordial thing that happiness?

So, how to make your self-esteem a friend?
First of all, do you need to change it? For example, you feel insecure in your life, so you act in some way or another - you can pretend you are very outgoing, aggressive or you stay calm and answer with a low voice. Is that comfortable to you? Do you think that if you would act in other way, you will be more happy in any aspect of you life, especially social life?

Good self-esteem help us communicate with others, help us to cut the distance, to make friends, to express ourselves without shame or unnecessary bias. Also, it make us manipulate-resistant.

First of all, start with failures. It is casual that people are afraid of something, for example speaking public, because generally they are afraid of failures.

What is a failure? Failure is when you don't take conclusion from your mistakes. MISTAKES ARE NOT FAILURES! Everybody make mistakes. So what? If I decided to write this text and I would probably make like hundreds of grammar and spelling mistakes, should it stop me from doing that? Should I feel ashame?

Adversities and mistakes happen. You are not always best - often you are weak in something. It doesn't matter - there is a way to start as a new. In you old college you could have labels like "Bad in math" or "Bad in social relationships". "Looser".
But when you come to a new school, it seems that old labels where gone. But it is exactly the opposite - soon, it appears that you are having the same labels. Why? Is it fatum or something?

No. You just carry those labels inside you. You cannot deal with them ,and they are still there. What can you do to threw them out?

Find a time to new habit. I called it "making a blank sheet".

1.Write about all those failures that you are carrying with you. For example you have never talked to great girl from your class.
2.Make a short list of impacts that your failure has in your life. For example you have never talked to this girl, and now you feel like a social looser, who will never find his lover. You are sitting in front of a laptop instead of dating, kissing and doing...all that stuff that you could do with a girlfriend. What a zero...
3. Make WHY?
For example:
Why haven't you talk to her?
Because I feel afraid of that.
Why do you feel afraid of that?
Because I don't know how to speak to women.
Why?
Because I never try to.
Why?...

Make this until you found something that catch your attention and gives you some conclusion.

Think about conclusion - how to make at least a minimum step? For example talk with some females. Take some advices, some new experience. You don't have to solve all problem - but you are not in the same position anymore. Give yourself a blank sheet. Failure doesn't exist anymore.

Too weak!

I've just came back from cinema and as always, the movie gave me some kind of inspiration to write. It was "Suicide Room/ Sala Samobojcow" (in fan translation) by Jacek Komasa. Polish cinema world is based on stupid comedies and movies that pretend to be better and completely different than stupid comedies. Of course, it is not only polish problem, I know. World is generally divided on two, exactly identical parts - but one of them always try to hide its similarity to another one.

But let's keep on topic. Suicuide room is generally about very wealthy boy who 'escape' to his own, virtual world. I found it full of stereotypes, but as long as he is in real world, it's fine -moreover, it doesn't have even those boring, life-long scenes, which are so typical for second part of movie.

Cause then... it is a little bit worse, especially that I hate background of virtual world- typical, anime-kind one, one-cent-designer one.

But as I said, film was just my inspiration to some thoughts, I'm not gonna write some review.

I've looked at today's news on onet, where main title is: „Teenagers self-harm” with a big picture of a poor, crying girl and her cut up hands. Ten percents of young people hurt themselves. O Madonna! How much they have to suffer to do things like that!

And I'm just curious, if a ten years old child with weapon, that is tortured or made to kill, or a little girl commonly raped by soldiers don't cut themselves is it mean that they actually don't suffer so much? Indeed, maybe they are so strong, cause of they living conditions, that they actually don't care about tragedies?
And this poor, contemporaries teenagers suffer more, because they usually...don't suffer at all? Is it true? So we should care about them more and look serious at their problems?

Think of it a little bit. Doesn't it sounds ironic? We are children of the same God/DNA ( delete as appropriate). Traumas are the same, only a kind of reaction is different. Real suffer isn't shown. You feel it, but your priority is to survive. Maybe it's better that children from warlike country aren't rescued and brought to better conditions. They would probably become like our spoiled teenagers, that cut themselves just because they got C or lost boyfriend. I can't imagine what it would be like, when poor Africans have time and opportunity to cry...

Come on! Send your “gentle” child to work! To school! Don't let them grow up without any sense how the real life looks like. In other way, they wake up some day and nobody will be looking at their “suffer”, nobody would take care of their “crying for help”

Maybe I'm too drastic, but I believe in our society. Try to understand, that whatever happened to this ten percent of teenagers, in this way they won't achieve anything. Treat victims as normal children is the best for them. Life won't spare anybody. The only way to climb as much as we can is to stop feel sorry for ourselves.

And then, as it is called by one of air company(or was firstly by Richard Nixon): the sky is no longer limit!

To survive

Maybe your life is quiet and simple. You don't have to face with great dangerous and problems. You don't roaming at suspicious places and have a fight. You don't play at a lottery. You haven't been cheated. You haven't cheated. Ever. Even in school. Even to your wife. Husband. Teacher. Boss. Goverment and Financial Department(and seriously, better don't play with them...) and police. Never buy on bargains. You don't try to catch a chance for fast "luck". That's good. Your sleep is healthy and who cares about rest?
Maybe.
But really, how many of us live like that? Sooner or later we all will be forced in some non-simple situation, either by others or by ourselfs.

So today few things you have to learn to survive.

1. Be a doctor for yourself
I don't say to do not trust a doctors, but in fact there are few without knowlegde and qualifications (well, we all like to cheat at exam. Medicine students aren't diffrent...). Why should you know at least basic of medical knowlegde?
Firstly, because you need to know serious symphtoms of deseases. Doctors just won't knock on your doors and said that you are ill. And in other side, to do not waist time at clinics.
And secondly, because when you will not have an access to uncle google, something bad could happend. And somethimes you just will not know what you should write to him.

2.Be a lawyer for yourself

Yeah, maybe all these paragraphs and articles aren't very interesting but remember this rule: Nobody ask you if you know the law. After accident there's nothing like "I didn't know..." Who cares. You were obligated, so now pay. Or stay in jail.
And law knowlegde is great advantage while more or less comfortable conversations with police and other goverment representatives. Without that they can force you to say too much before your true lair lawyer will come.

3.Be a psychotherapist for yourself

I mean, keep focus on things in your head and soul, because there's nobody who knows you better than yourself. You have to know how to deal with stress and what is the best for you when you get angry or depressed. It also good to know, what are the main symphtoms of mental deseases and when it is just reaction for stress situation and when you have neurosis. But be careful and don't make yourself believe that you are combination of neurosis, depresion and schisophrenic person.

4.Be an animator for yourself

Strange, but true, when you're sitting at bus stop and have too much time. A lot of people are bored all the time. Don't be one of them. Try to entertain yourself by mixing up some stories, jokes etc. You would be not afraid to stay alone, as many people still do, so you would be more likely to avoid stupid situation just to spend some time with others. And people who are like animator for themself are usually much better animator for others. That's important, too.
(to be continued)

Once I read something like: "the sims - because nerds want to have some life, too". In fact, it's quite accurate, if you look how people play in this game.

.

.

.

..

They do this, because they cannot make something in real life and of course that kind of compensation is good only for short time - then they can catch a depression or stop to want something in real life, just sacrifice all their time and energy into game.

That's really sad and...pathetic. Yeah, pathetic. We shouldn't comfort people with addictions- they have to take it serious and DO something, not to make another excuses and feel sorry of themself. It's pathetic. I love Tim Minchin song "Fat Children". When everybody try to keep some political correctness, he said it very simple what we should say - just listen.

And something about Sims - I find this game not only as a compensation for sad people - but also as one of the greatest tool for writers. Really, it's like made your imagine world less imagine - it help clean everything and remember about details and also it gives some ideas. You know, you made a character, even only appearence and you don't have to worry that it will fly away of your minds. Imagine can be really illusive. This is the reason why I would like to spend this 50 zloty on allegro to buy it, and probably I will.

And of course, I still love idea of this game - this multiplies of options, opportunity to made your own missions and never-ending stories...

So this times no flyswat for Sims creators and a just a few for unproductive players.

P.S.: Curiosity on diffrent subject - music. You probably heard something called commonly: 'Papa Americano' thousand times, even if you don't like this kind of music - it's regular radio song. For those who can't stand house, but like this italian beginning I reccomend "tu vuò fà l'americano" especially by Fiorello & Matt Damon & Jude Law from "Talented Mr. Ripley". It was used as a sample. Very nice I think. Much more interesting than Yolanda's record.

And "fa fa l'americano", not "papa americano", by the way.

Day-after after-party

New year. Everybody loves first five hours of this day. But then, after ten hours of sleep we start to think..or sleep again.

You know, I love my new year's nights from past - when I was like 9-10 year old kid. I spent this time with my brother and grandma, and I usually wrote some kind of summary and of course wishes list. Then I went to church to talk with God personally (heh, old times) and sing Te Deum Laudamus. That was sort of a magic, especially with fireworks, that meant something unusual in these times, not like now - yeah, nice but not very exiciting.

My last few New Years are diffrent. Neither I've done some kind of list nor belived in God. Hours of preparations - dress, make-up, buying food and that kind of stuff - is quite annoying. Then party, a lots of laugh, talking about unnecesary serious subject - and New Year ends.
I woke up three hours ago and now it's 6 p.m. I'm listening Rasputin by Boney M. You know, this guy Rasputin was quite unique - he could deal deep religion and knowledge with sharp party-life.
I can't.
So flyswat today. Too much alcohol and too less thinking.

Ra Ra Rasputin...

Yeah, I watched this mass project with a full attention. I don't want to cross something just because it's so popular. Films and books of Harry Porter are great and I think they have some value messages. Today I want to focus on Hermione, because her character isn't very noticeable in this seventh part for general public, but for me her story was the most important, the most disturbing.

Yeah, the rest of this post- tommorow. I'm too tired to finished it.

Ivy League man- perfect fly from dusk to dawn

Horror of every young American fly. In Polish education system everything is clear: you pass Matura for x% and you will be rejected or admitted only by score of this exam. It's not only fair, but it's simple.

When you try to applicate at some prestique universities, like Ivy League, you have to sell your life. Really, they ( I mean people from Very Important Office) scann not only your grades, SAT scores or achievements- I think look at this things is ok - but also essays, extracurricular activities ( Earlier I wrote it as: extracircular activies- a privelenge of being ESL person- your spelling is shit)...you know) your stictly personal details, like what have you done in summer etc.
And everybody sacrifice their value, teenager time to live like a Ivy League fly. Because if you don't spend your free time helping stupid children at your surroundings, who really don't care about you so much as for a good grass with bottle of alcohol, or if you don't lead your team to National School Cup, to make yourself meaninglessly 2435th winner, that nobody except his parents and teachers recognized as a champ, and if you don't write any articles to school journal, that have ten readers plus redaction- if you don't do any stuff like that, you mean nothing for college. Sorry, but they really now what value of man mean.

Today verdict: flyswat. Our community will burn their wings by chasing for that.